Lauren Daigle, God, and Writing ~

This morning, I’m adding the finishing touches on a book proposal to send to my first-choice agency. It’s like sending an application to the college of my dreams, and then waiting for the acceptance letter in the mail. Except, I’m forty-seven not seventeen. I’ve chosen to mail the proposal instead of email. Maybe because I like the feel of a book in my hand, or a handwritten note instead of onscreen words. Or maybe…it’s because I’m forty-seven and not seventeen.

YouTube is playing music as I type. Lauren Daigle’s new song fills the room, floods me.

Volume up and typing.

I keep fighting voices in my mind that say I’m not enough.

You can’t do this. Your writing is not good enough. You aren’t good enough.

Every single lie that tells me that I will never measure up.

Who are you kidding? You will never publish a book.

Am I more than just the sum of every high and low?

But an editor requested a copy of my proposal. High. Remember the one that didn’t. Low.

Remind me once again just who I am because I need to know.

Oh God, please remind me. Quiet the voices. Settle my soul.

You say I am loved when I can’t feel a thing.

I am loved.

You say I am strong, when I think I am weak.

I am strong.

And you say I am held, when I am falling short.

I am held.

When I don’t belong, You say I am Yours.

I am Yours.

And I believe.

I believe.

The only thing that matters now, is everything you think of me.

Loved. Strong. Held. Yours.

In You I find my worth. In You I find my identity.

I am who YOU say I am. With or without a book.

Taking all I have and now I’m laying it at Your feet.

All of me, who I am, my hopes, my dreams are at Your feet. Creativity. Gift. Ability. Skill. All Yours.

You’ll have every failure God. You’ll have every victory.

Failure is Yours. Victory is Yours.

Next song…Through it all, my eyes are on You. It is well. It is well. So, let go my soul and trust in Him. The waves and wind still know His name.